


Can't Catch a Break

by Flaming_dumpster



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Hux Just Wants to Relax, Kylux crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 02:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16150433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flaming_dumpster/pseuds/Flaming_dumpster
Summary: In which Hux just wants to relax, But Ren has other plans.





	Can't Catch a Break

**Author's Note:**

> Pure Unedited Kylux Crack
> 
> Rated teen for language

Between the recent destruction of  _ Starkiller _ base and resident man child Kylo Ren becoming Supreme Leader, Hux needed some quality me-time with his cat and a bottle of wine.

He had the perfect night planned out. A nice hot bath, relaxing candles, a skin firming face mask (it takes a lot of work to look this good). 

“Millicent, darling! Daddy’s home.” Hux called as soon as the door was securely shut behind him. He was greeted by a small orange ball of fluff twisting its way between his leg as he walked. “Did you have a good day sweetie?” He cooed. Hux would rather die than let another person see how he acts with his cat. Millicent let out a  _ mreow. _

“That’s very good,” Hux made his way to his wardrobe, immediately shucking his uniform. He had given Mitaka specific orders that he was not to be disturbed for the rest of the night, and was not worried about having to go anywhere. “My day was surprisingly pleasant as well. Paperwork was at a minimal, this week’s budget goals were met, and Ren hasn’t destroyed anything on my ship for 3 days now.” 

He reached into the very back of his closet a pulled out a silky black robe, slipping it over his shoulders and tied it loosely around his waist. “It’s almost as if he is being—dare I say it,  _ responsible,  _ about his new title. I never thought I’d see the day.” 

Hux poured a more than generous helping of red wine into a stemless wine glass while making his way over the the couch. He placed the wine bottle down on the side table and picked up the datapad that sat there with his free hand, the other still holding his glass of wine. 

“What do you say Millie, shall I read you a couple more chapters from our book before I go for my bath?” Millicent hopped up and settled in Hux’s lap, purring contently. Hux chuckled and lifted the wine glass, drinking deeply from it while the datapad powered on. There was no warning for what happened next.

Hux spat his wine everywhere as his door was sliced open, part of the metal slamming into the floor as none other than Kylo Ren kicked it out of the way. The sudden commotion (coupled with being drenched in wine) sent Millicent scrambling away, claws digging into Hux’s legs for traction. 

“GENERAL!” Kylo yelled, sprinting into the room. His face was red, he was wearing a cone shaped party hat, and he was shirtless. 

“What the hell, Ren?!” Hux shouted back in complete shock. Kylo pointed his ignited lightsaber at Hux.  _ ‘Oh, krif,’  _ He thought, ‘ _ This can’t be how I die.’ _

“GET UP! IT’S PARTY TIME!” Kylo shut the lightsaber off, almost losing his balance. Hux just stared, completely lost for words. 

“...what-”

“DING DONG, SNOKE IS DEAD MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE!!” Kylo pulled a flask out of his pocket and chugged the whole thing. 

Well, that explained the party hat, and the red hue of his skin. 

“Are you drunk?” Hux asked wearily.

“You bet your cute ginger ass I am!” Kylo Force levitated the bottle of wine from the table to Hux’s hand. “Now finish that, find Phasma, and meet me in the officer's mess in 10 minutes!” He shouted as he sprinted out of the room, leaping over the broken door that still glowed red around the edges.

Hux heaved a very large sigh, “I am never calling him responsible again.” He cringed as he spotted Millicent huddled in the corner, wine dripping from her red damp fur.

‘Relaxation night’ had turned into ‘give Millicent-the-cat-that-hates-water a bath’ night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Feed back is more than welcome, and I'm always taking prompts and requests :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr as flaming-dumpter


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